when all your favorite people are online
I once had a drunk guy tell me I was too sexy to be shooting up at a party. He knocked the needle out of my hands and stepped on the pen, shattering the casing, telling me I should thank him by giving him my number and a kiss. It was my diabetes medicine.
(submitted by anonymous)
I hate when a person says they’ve had a bad day and everyone, instead of trying to cheer them up, enters a competition of who’s had the shittest life
Unpleasant customers who complain and say they’d rather go somewhere else.
If you pull me on your lap there is a 101% chance I’m going to make out with you.
i would advise you to avoid santa